I love Belgium! It might not be the first country in Europe one thinks of to visit, but it really does have some of the best things the continent has to offer: Beautiful medieval architecture, gothic churches, world class art, remarkable cuisine, exquisite chocolates, seaside beaches, good transportation and all in a small package. Furthermore it’s great for unfortunately monolingual Americans in that while exposed to other languages, most people (especially in Flanders) speak English quite well. It really makes for a fun Introduction to Europe!
The first time I was there it was part of a larger Benelux trip. Worldly Amsterdam and little Luxembourg were predicted to be my highlights. Belgium was a convenient midway point. My travel partner & I had heard about a lovely city called Bruges and decided to spend a few days there and make it our base. For some reason news of the magnificence of this perfectly preserved city did not make it across the Atlantic. Everywhere I went I think I took a picture. The canals could not be more romantic, the squares more medieval. Definitely not a place you would find in the USA. I was introduced to the pinnacle of the chocolate arts and to Belgian Fries. When an ugly American insisted on calling them French Fries to a vendor I cringed. We discovered gritty Ghent and its foreboding castle, touching Ypres and its daily WW1 memorial ritual, and got a respite from the unusual tropical heat in the seaside town of Oostende. In the end, Belgium was more of a highlight than the other two nations we visited.
A couple of years later another friend and I decided to head to Cologne, Germany. I wanted to see the famous cathedral and the city had been featured in some travel magazines. Upon realizing that flying into Brussels Airport would be quite convenient, I decided that my friend needed to see Belgium as well. After showing her pictures from my earlier trip to Bruges she was game. I also decided that Bruges would not be our only Belgian base. It is lovely, but it felt a bit like a museum piece. One thing I had regretted was that we did not have time to visit Antwerp on my last trip. It was so hot we wisely opted for seaside Oostende instead. However, natives had remarked that if I wanted to experience the full culture of modern Flanders, I needed to experience Antwerp. So for this second trip, as Antwerp had a direct train to Cologne, this seemed perfect.
After two days of enjoying the historic charm of Bruges we took the 1 hour train to Antwerp. I was very excited. Maybe the chocolates would be even better, if that was even possible. The museums had many major Flemish treasures. I was sure the food would be more authentic. Also Antwerp was one of the fashion capitals of the world, which… meant nothing to me actually. I just am fascinated seeing how old cities accommodate everyday life in modern society.
Affordable lodging was surprisingly hard to come by in the city center. This was before airbnb’s. Amsterdam, Bruges, Luxembourg all had reasonable pensions, but in Antwerp it seemed they were a rarity. Antwerp had been overshadowed by Bruges, Brussels, & Amsterdam on the tourist map and rendered an interesting daytrip from those cities. There were plenty of hotels for those in the diamond or fashion trade, but few for normal folks in normal wear. I did find one however and the reviews were OK so with a lack of choices I booked it. I should have also packed bug repellant. The hotel seemed clean and reasonable enough upon check-in. The room was small but seemed fine. We even decided to have lunch in its restaurant as we gathered our bearings and planned our itinerary. After a lovely day touring this underrated city, it was time for bed and we noticed our room was surprisingly stifling. It wasn’t hot outside but was very much so inside. We opened our windows to let the cool air in, but then realized the drapes were nailed to the inside of the window. If we opened the windows we were completely exposed. I had never seen anything like that before. Normally I open the windows then close the drapes. Air comes in but nothing else. Since we both had gotten quite used to breathing, and there was no air in our room, we had no choice but to sleep with the windows open. After wishing each other a “Good Night” the horrible irony of that innocent platitude would soon beset us.
All my life I have been on the menu for every kind of biting bug there is. I’ve always been called a sweet guy, but maybe I misunderstood the meaning. American bugs used whatever communication device bugs use to notify their Flemish counterparts that a smorgasbord was on its way. It’s the only explanation of what happened next. Not too long after we fell asleep I was awoken by the horrifying sound of buzzing well within my ear. When I got up I felt like my exposed feet were on fire. I tried to stay quiet out of consideration for my sleeping companion, but when I heard her mumble some obscenity, I turned the lights on and the terrible reality of our situation was illuminated. Our room was swarming with mosquitos & horseflies! The white walls, and white sheets all covered with menacing little black parasites! Why? Yes our windows were open, but the lights were off. What attracted the entire insect population of Antwerp into our room? It had to be me! We were aghast. I was covered in bites (an argument for pajamas I suppose). The buzzing was everywhere. We closed the windows and gradually we either killed or shooed the bugs. We both hermetically sealed ourselves in our sheets just incase there were survivors, and tried to sleep. I don’t know how we didn’t wake up the rest of the hotel. Maybe the other guests were in a battle as well. Unfortunately the mental scars of the war coupled with the lack of oxygen in our room did not facilitate sleep. After much discussion, we got up, opened the windows and somehow fastened one of our sheets on to the window frame. I’m not exactly sure how we did that, but emergency was the mother of invention that night I guess.
The next morning our exhausted and desanguinated selves went to speak with management about our dilemma. Annoyingly, the manager swore the hotel never had a complaint like that and there was little they could do. (Really? How about not nailing the drapes to the windows? Maybe a fan in the room?) We looked for alternative accommodations but none could be found. We were stuck. We came up with a half-assed plan that actually worked. We left the windows open during the day to let some air in. We made sure to return to the hotel before evening, when all the bugs come out, to close the windows. We then would have dinner and a night on the town after killing whatever bugs did fly in. When we returned we tolerated the closed windows until we were about to suffocate, then we would open them and once again fasten a sheet to the windows to protect us from the bugs. One more room sweep, then hermetically seal ourselves in sheets, put earplugs (which we had bought) in our ears, and go to bed. For 3 nights we did that and it kind of worked. It wasn’t the most comfortable arrangement and there was always an element of fear, but it got us through those miserable nights.
Happily our ingenuity allowed us to truly appreciate Antwerp. The art was amazing. We discovered the delicious worstenbroodje and amazing chocolates. The city’s renowned jazz scene was a blast! Honestly I ended up falling in love with Antwerp and have since returned. But no thanks to the mosquito motel we stayed in. Needless to say it did not get a good review! Thankfully, we had no problems with our accommodation in Cologne. We even had a smoke with two of the Backstreet Boys who were staying in the swanky hotel next door unbeknownst to us (which they appreciated)… but that is another story, one without creepy crawlies in our ears.
